As I sit here tonight my head is spinning, my stomach is in knots and I’m still not sure if posting my feelings is the best idea right now. I just got home from dropping Rich off…probably the longest car ride of my life…… Not wanting to reach the driveway, open the door and find the empty house that I know is waiting for me.
To say the least my emotions are one big roller coaster ride, one minute I feel empowered and strong and the next I feel weak and vulnerable. I tell myself to keep it together but at any moment I feel as though I will crumble. I can’t put into words the pain of having to pry my hands off of him, to watch him walk away, and to want just one more kiss, the kiss that you never want to end for the fear of the unknown. I know I need to stay positive. I know that when duty calls you must go…and for that I am proud of you, but it doesn’t take away from the heartache…not yet anyway. I feel overwhelmed with a sense of incompleteness. The one I want to share my days, my nights and my dreams with isn’t here
I need my moment to cope, my moment to feel sad and angry that you are the one that has to leave, but these feelings won’t last long because I know how truly blessed we are, we have been given so much and for that I am forever grateful. I think of all the women (and men) who are away from their loved ones over seas tonight just like me, my heart and prayers go out to all of them. I still hurt, everyday away from you will hurt, but I find solace in prayer and thoughts of you, and it is this that will carry me through these next few months. You are my hero, you are my life, hurry home you know I will be waiting.
To say the least my emotions are one big roller coaster ride, one minute I feel empowered and strong and the next I feel weak and vulnerable. I tell myself to keep it together but at any moment I feel as though I will crumble. I can’t put into words the pain of having to pry my hands off of him, to watch him walk away, and to want just one more kiss, the kiss that you never want to end for the fear of the unknown. I know I need to stay positive. I know that when duty calls you must go…and for that I am proud of you, but it doesn’t take away from the heartache…not yet anyway. I feel overwhelmed with a sense of incompleteness. The one I want to share my days, my nights and my dreams with isn’t here
I need my moment to cope, my moment to feel sad and angry that you are the one that has to leave, but these feelings won’t last long because I know how truly blessed we are, we have been given so much and for that I am forever grateful. I think of all the women (and men) who are away from their loved ones over seas tonight just like me, my heart and prayers go out to all of them. I still hurt, everyday away from you will hurt, but I find solace in prayer and thoughts of you, and it is this that will carry me through these next few months. You are my hero, you are my life, hurry home you know I will be waiting.
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5 comments:
I LOVE you Brit! You are so strong--one of your many great qualities. You can get through this and I will be here for you if you need anything--or even just someone to talk to. I am so proud of Rich too! You two will be in my prayers. xoxo
You are so amazing Brit! You can do this... keep staying strong and positive like you're already being and that will help the time go by faster. You and Rich will both be in our prayers. Let me know if you need anything. Sure love ya girlie
We don't have a christmas tree yet and the way it is going we probably won't get one--Austin is so busy with finals and work and I don't want to go get a tree by myself. We are going to be at one of our parents for Christmas anyway so I am at the point that getting a Christmas tree (or more like getting Austin to make time to get a christmas tree) is more of a hassle than it is worth. =( What about you?
I can't wait until you come down here so we can give you a big hug and get your mind off things. You are so amazing, Rich has to know that he is such a lucky guy to have such a sweet and amazing person. You are always thinking of others. Just think, Rich is thinking about you everyday over there, and you are the one that is getting him through this hard time. You have to be strong for him too. I love you so so much and we will pray for you like crazy. I hope more than anything you can stay strong and just know you have so many people praying for you and thinking about you. We all love you. Hang in there!!
oh brit I love you so much. I just want to hug you and cry with you... in our pajamas of course. I am so grateful for the sacrifices that those men and women like Rich make so that we can be safe and have all the blessings of freedom. and I am thankful to their family members like you who are left at home to worry, because they wouldn't be able to do what they do if they didn't have the support of loved ones at home. our thoughts and prayers are with you both. XOXO
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